The Shockuation Room

Today.

For some reason when I start to write I clear my throat. I guess that Felicia is right, when I am think that I am about to say something clever or have said something clever I clear my throat. Holla at ya!

I’m normal.

Do you ever sing random lyrics to songs? I know I do. It is songs that aren’t even in my head too. I, Justin Marshall, randomly just sang, “CHAIN CHAIN CHAIN!”

I think that one of the best inventions ever has to go to XBOX live. It’s a great thing.

Anyway,

My day consisted of random minutes that made up serious hours. Today is now yesterday, not sure how I am still awake, but i still am. I am seriously tired.

A pet peeve of mine is un-flushed toilets. I doesn’t matter if you’re a guy or a girl. Pee or poop. Either way it’s really gross and annoying.

My day went like this…

Woke up, had the dog jump all over myself, helped my family do random things.
I then went and read the Bible with my pastor.
I then went home and ate and slept a little.
Then went and watched Smallville with my GF. She loves me a little. I love her a tad.

I have been watching South Park basically all day.

I am going to go to sleep before I end up with a spoon in my brain from an alien that notices a weakness in me. If you’re tired I would watch out for that. They like the tired ones. They sorta like spoons, mainly they like you.

Justin

Last night.

My grandpa walked by a little candy bowl in which I had filled with Sprees. This being directly after dinner. He decided to eat a spree, thinking it was an m&m. Chaos filled his mouth.

Jerry (Grandpa): “WHEW! What in God’s name was that?! I thought it was an M&M. Oh my. WHEW!”

Justin: “You didn’t like it?

Jerry: “Hell no. I don’t even want those things near me! I might catch something.

So I place one right next to his hand.

Jerry: “Get that damn thing away from me!”

So I throw it toward the keyboard, it bounces and lands on the ground.

Jerry: “Oh God, now it’s on the floor.”

I laugh and he mocks my laugh for 2 minutes.

More to come.

Hello,

My name is Frog Frogerstien. I was born a few hours ago when a certain Justin A. Marshall mentioned how similar a frog and a blog are.

He was right. I get it all the time these days.

I hop around doing things, you know, that frogs do and then all of a sudden I hop into someone that has a mini-laptop and he is typing away and typing away.

I ask, “What are you up to?”
He says, “Writing a blog, you should know all about it!”

That upsets me to no end. How am I supposed to make a name for myself or find a job when anytime I try to talk to a prospect they think I am talking about a blog!

I mean come on, I’m green, I’m slimy, I like the water, I produce tadpoles and those are my good qualities!

Blogs just consist of people writing whatever goobley gook comes to their mind! They could write about FISH if they wanted to.

I have mouths to feed and that doesn’t even count the tadpoles in three separate ponds. Ohmylanta!

Ribit. Ribit.

Damn.

Getting a job isn’t easy to begin with, but when I get possible employers calling me thinking I am some sort of blogger it just takes all the wind out of frog tail. Wait, I don’t have a tail, excuse my trying to rhyme that was silly. Silly, that rhymes with lilly, oh lilly pads.

Happy Days… Starring Fonzi.

Anyway, stop confusing me with blogs.

Yours,

Frog Frogerstien

To Whom it may concern,

Yes, so it’s your friend or your completely unknown stranger, Justin Marshall. I decided to start this little blog. I really never thought that I would create a blog, it sounds way to much like frog. I would like to try to explain that to my grandpa when he is just waking up.

The convo would go something like this.

Justin: “Hey grandpa I started a blog.”

Jerry (Grandpa): “You have a frog in the house? Oh God, get rid of that thing before it shits all over the place.”

Justin: “Ok. Yep a frog. Bye.”

Jerry: “Get me some more Ruby Red Squirt with some ice.”

Justin: “K.”

Anyway. I will be posting a lot of past stories that people have read will have to read again, or ignore.

I will also try to talk a little bit about my daily adventures.

Today.

I woke up around well, my mom texted me at 6:02 a.m. to tell me thanks for buying her a gift on yoville, which is a facebook application. Yes, seriously that happened. I tried to go back to sleep, but the dog came in and jumped directly onto my genitals. So I got up around 8:30. I watched the rest of the first season of Californication which happens to star David Duchovny, former star of X-Files, a childhood favorite of mine. Californication is a pretty great show, I recommend it.

Anyway, later that day I was to start my new job at Rite Aid, I didn’t really know what to expect. Having a teaching degree and having my real estate license and getting a job as a cashier at Rite Aid to try to get some dependably money coming in seemed like a pretty solid plan. Back to the point, like I was saying, I didn’t know what to expect, she had told me last week that I would mainly be filling out paperwork and doing things on the computer.

Anyway, after filling out the usual W-2, I-9, social security stuff, driver’s license information and so on and so on.

Then began the New Hire Orientation computer program. I thought I knew what to sort of expect with this as I had done a similar one for McDonald’s three years ago. It was similar, but it was very long. After it reminded me about not stealing from the company for about 25 minutes the program informed with enthusiastically what the RALLY CRY of Rite Aid is…. “WIN THEM OVER, BRING THEM BACK!” And after the two animated employees continued taking turns saying their war cry back and forth to each other they decided that I should join them. “Now you say it with us!” I sat there and I decided that I would internally join them. The manager walked in a little after they had gave up on me and I turned to the manager and said “Win them over, bring them back.” She said, that’s the old rally cry, now it’s “It’s my Rite Aid and I love it.” Or it’s something like that. Wow. Anyway, I continued to answer the questions like… OK new employee, take this scenario, the program then showed a video of a person that looked about 22 trying to buy some booze. The employee in the video asked for his I.D. the video then asked me.

Why did the employee ask for proof of age?

A.) Because he looked younger than 27 years old.

B.) Because the man is obviously over 50 years old.

This went on for almost 3 hours. I then left. And now I am here.

Talk to you tomorrow.