Putin may be busy with hostile take overs of chunks of land that belong to sovereign states, but that doesn’t stop him from bringing home 2014’s Sexiest Man Alive award. It doesn’t matter if he is sitting at his desk in the Kremlin with his finger over the big red trigger or if he is riding a horse topless: all the girls swoon. He might have a lot on his plate: complete take overs of the most lucrative companies in the Russian Federation and if there is a wavering of support for him by these Oligarchs he threatens to have them circumcised, remember these are full grown adults with billions of dollars, they have become quite attached to their own members.

One of the most famous government of business take over is Gazprom. Gazprom is the largest extractor of natural gas and one of the largest companies in the world. Putin felt it was being mismanaged and forced out the leaders of the companies. In place of the former leaders Putin placed some of his own cronies in charge of the company, meaning basically that Putin is in charge of the Gazprom. One of his cronies that he brought in to lead Gazprom was Dmitry Medvedev, who would eventually become President and Prime Minister of the Russian Federation.

The TV channels also fell under government control. There is no news unless Putin approves it.

Putin not officially, but for the informed or person that tries to follow these stories an NSB agent under Putin’s control poisoned a dissenter with radioactive polonium. His name was Alexander Litvinenko. Litvinenko was a former NSB agent, formerly known as the KGB. He wrote articles about the corruption of Putin and it didn’t take long for a NSB officer to find him in London, where he tried to escape Russia for political asylum in Great Britain. He died a slow, miserable and painful death.

In Litvinenko’s last statement he said about Putin:

“…this may be the time to say one or two things to the person responsible for my present condition. You may succeed in silencing me but that silence comes at a price. You have shown yourself to be as barbaric and ruthless as your most hostile critics have claimed. You have shown yourself to have no respect for life, liberty or any civilized value. You have shown yourself to be unworthy of your office, to be unworthy of the trust of civilized men and women. You may succeed in silencing one man but the howl of protest from around the world will reverberate, Mr Putin, in your ears for the rest of your life. May God forgive you for what you have done, not only to me but to beloved Russia and its people…. But God DAMN is he sexy.”

Speaking of which, he does look good fly-fishing. 

Putin accepted his award graciously in front of the Russian Federation General Assembly.

Putin: I had to kill a lot of people to get this award…. I mean, I’m so thankful for the world to vote me the Sexiest Person Alive. Unbelievable. I’m so jacked that I may go invade Finland.

Thank You And Have A Good Day.

Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin

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