In the last edition of “gosh these animals are fricking weird” we explored some common animals that are very bizarre. This article will describe some of the lesser known weird as hell animals.
Actually I’m going to start out with an animal we are all pretty familiar with.
1. Human
Human- The human is anywhere from 4 foot to over 7 feet tall, I won’t mention weight because it’s a sensitive subject.
Humans are super weird. They operate these giant machines that move at tremendous rates of speed. Most of the time they aren’t even paying attention. OMG I LOVE THIS SONG. OMG I GOT A TEXT. OMG MY MAKE UP. OMG I HAVE TO READ FIELD AND STREAM!!
Humans eat everything, meat, veggies, nuts, fruits, beans, popcorn, bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica, sugar packets, dogs, cats, poison. And so on.
Unless they are very ambitious, they leave other humans in charge of getting their meat or wheat to them the majority of the time. People that gather wheat, corn and other things are known as farmers. Farmers also can be humans that kill animals that humans later eat. Farmers for whatever reason are looked at as some type of idiots. I guess other humans do not like overalls or straw hats. I don’t get it.
Humans can reach top speed of, wait, they’re too lazy to try that. But, they can drive at ridiculously dangerous speeds. They even like to do that when they’ve drank a boat load of poison.
Eventually, they get married and have kids. Then they love their kids like crazy or they don’t and then the kids get taken away given to other parents who hopefully love the kids. And with marriage sometimes that doesn’t work out and a humans get a thing called a divorce. People also kill other people. A person is also known as a human. Sorry.
Some human right now is reading this thinking I am a dumb human and should get my human made computer taken away from me.
2. Aye-Aye
Yeah.
Those things.
They only live on Madagascar.
Aye-Aye- This animal HAS TO BE related to the person writing this article because it is the world’s largest nocturnal primate. This primate looks like a freaked out little rat or bat or something, but it’s not. Like I said, it’s a primate. The label of a “primate” is a thin one.
There are many different views and feelings on what the Aye-Aye could actually be, because certain parts of the Aye-Aye lead experts to make cases for their own views on the Aye-Aye. For example experts believe that the continually growing front teeth is similar to rodents, leading classifying the aye-aye with something similar to that of a rodent and as a squirrel, due to its toes, hair coloring, and tail. Weirdly, however, the aye-aye is also similar to felines in its head shape, ears, eyes, and nostrils.
They get their food in a very interesting manner. The Aye-Aye climbs a tree, taps on it to find grubs, when it finds a grub, it uses its insanely freaked out face and teeth to gnaw right through the tree, creating a hole. Once there is a hole the little fellow then uses an elongated middle finger to pull out the insects. I know, I’m thinking the same thing, “there has to be an easier way to eat than that.” But, that’s what it does! The Aye-Aye doesn’t only eat grubs it eats all sorts of things: fungi, nuts, insect larvae, fruits, nectar, seeds. And so on.
That makes this little beast an omnivore.
The Aye-Aye can live up to 20 years long. It weighs roughly four pounds and it is three feet long with a tail as long as its body.
Supposedly, the Aye-Aye is the only primate that uses a type of sonar to find its prey, that type of sonar is called echolocation.
Obviously, these animals have suffered traumatic events continually throughout their lives starting from the moment of birth. If not there is no way they could look the way they do.
I just wish Madagscar wouldn’t have been in the business of nightly terrorizing the poor Aye-Aye. They look to be on the verge of nervous breakdowns. Years and years of waiting around a corner for a Aye-Aye to appear to yell “BOO!” Has not done well for its psyche.
– – – – – – – — — I-I i———Hi–
3. Gerenuk
Gerenuk- The Gerenuk is also known as the Waller’s gazelle. It is a long necked antelope. The animal is found in East Africa in both the bush and the desert. Countries that Gerenuk claim as somewhat friendly living areas include Kenya, Ethiopia, Somalia and so on.
In the picture you notice they like to stand up like humans. That’s only because they feel bad for humans for being so weird.
Right?
-Yep.
These weird guys like most others on the list had a difficult time growing into their bodies. And even once that was done it wasn’t like the mocking by those stupid hyenas or other ‘holier than thou’ attitude swagging animals.
They have tiny heads compared to the rest of their body, but in another joke God decided to give the Gerenuk eyes and ears that were not in proportion and instead large in scale with their head that almost appears to be too small to house a brain. God, does have a sense of humor. And it does make these guys look like weirdos.
These animals are a mixture of antelope, gazelle and a giraffe, which is a sad thing. They Gerenuk has long slender legs which helps them with speed, but it also causes a apolitically bad side effect: their legs tend to snap like twigs giving their predators a day off in the case of leg break.
They are weird. But, now I feel bad for how easy they can snap a twig leg. Maybe if they were smart enough to adapt to climbing trees they would be ok. Stupid, weird animals.
And another dog makes one of these lists…
4. Komondor Dog
Komondor Dog- These dogs are from Hungary and are very special in the country. It has been declared as one of Hungary’s National Treasures which is to be preserved and protected from modification.
The K-Dog, which is what I’m going to call it for the rest of the time I talk about it is a very strong and powerful dog. It has a natural instinct to protect livestock and other property. The K-Dogs are one of the bigger breeds in the world and can be measured at over 30 inches tall. They are also known as Mop Dogs.
Their body is covered with what looks like many, many mops. And well, they are. Here in lies actually, how the first mop was every created.
An owner of a dairy spilled quite a bit of milk and after a good deal of nagging from the mrs. he called in his K-Dog known as Pricky Willy. The owner of the Diary. Vlad, got down on all fours to talk to his dog, “you’re a good dog Willy, you know that, right? You’re great!” And at that point he put his hand on Willy and must have found this rather ticklish so he skidded on his back directly into the pool of milk. Willy, not feeling the wetness of the milk yet rolled over on his other side. This maneuver cleared up almost all the milk. Vlad took Willy out and hugged him, drenching himself in milk. That was the beginning of the mop.
Venus Williams is a descendant of the K-Dog.
5. Superb Bird of Paradise
Superb Bird Of Paradise-
Wherever this bird is hanging out has to be great. And the bird is even better than that place. SUPERB BIRD OF PARADISE. It sounds like an extreme marketing campaign. Supposedly the reason for its look is to atract females. But, I know the truth. He’s showing off. He is walking around strutting his stuff telling everyone that he spent $1500 on this suite, he shouldn’t even be wearing it, he should be saving it. He’s annoying the tourists: he’s jumping in the back of pictures and photobombing, he’s circling weddings that happen in New Guinea and pooping on brides. He’s a selfish bird.
There are more males Superb Bird of Paradise than females and that’s because many of the females have became lesbians and went into hiding after all the show of cockishness and douchebagery.
Personally, I don’t blame them.
See what I mean?