There has been a great interest in Bob since his debut article. I didn’t write a single word besides this sentence you’re reading.
Scientists are saying Brenda Johnson wrote it.
What is there to say about Bob? He hails from a little mountain town in Colorado, his mother a hobo’s companion, his father from the forest moon of Endor. A stranger welcomed him into his home only to abandon him in a baby bassinet on the steps of a kill shelter with a note citing he spent his days terrorizing his beloved cats.
Bobs shining earth angel appeared days later in the form of a kind hearted but dim minded college sophomore. She sneakily brought him back to her dorm room and it took all of three minutes for the distinctive smell of an Ewok to engulf the entire floor and get himself kicked off campus. The stink still lingers, as does the legend. So Bob got washed, waxed, buffed, and thrown into the belly of a plane with a one way ticket to Chicago.
-Bob Has a brother named Axel
– Bob gets washed and groomed monthly yet still smells bad. The smell is intensified by the rain
-Bob likes to eat women’s underwear, bars of soap, and Brenda’s retainers. Axel likes to eat these things too but the blame always goes to Bob
-One time Bob got caught by a sticky trap intended for a mouse
– Bob barks at garbage trucks buses and semi’s. Axel barks at other dogs and frail old men. If Axel is barking, Bob starts barking, but he doesn’t know why.
– Bob has googly eyes
– The more a dog hates Bob the more he likes them
– The more Douponce hates Bob the more he likes him
– Bob likes to sneeze in your face
– Bob wakes up at 6 AM just to scratch your face. He will continue to do so and jump on and off the bed until you get up and feed him.
Hopefully that’s enough. Feel free to write back with any questions, however, if you are looking to reach Bob for comment, he is currently on vacation at his summer home in Michigan.