I talked to a man by the name of Liam Frank. He lives in Buffalo NY. He is 35 years old and has had enough ex-gfs that I will not and do not suggest you question what he says about what exes are really good at, well, female exes.
It’s really only a list… But, it’s worth reading it.
1. They are really good at breaking up with you in the most confusing manner.
2. They are really good at hanging around just after breaking up. Confused at if they should break up with you or if they should choose the bf in the wings. After they mess with your head and heart for a while they go for the boy in the wings because it’s NOT FAIR for him. Because it’s totally fair for you. Moving on.
3. Reminding you that they are alive. Just as you are putting them out of your head because you’ve been in a state of depression, blaming yourself for what went wrong or whatever the hell happened. Trying to figure out the smallest most mundane detail or maybe you don’t actually care, which is a possibility: THEY JUST POP UP. In some way or another. HEY LIAM!
4. They are SO GOOD at not talking to you in any possible way. And they’re used to be a lot less ways of talking to each other. Calling someone with a phone card, letting it go to voicemail because you are like what the hell number is this?! And then they call.
“Hey, I was just calling to talk for a bit, you’re probably busy, but I am calling to say I really miss us and I love you, I really do.”
So let’s use a little example: Your brain is walking down the street to class and all of a sudden it trips and spills all of the books out of the bag. No one tries to help you they just step over you laughing: “What an idiot, stop paying attention to your phone!”
Here is what is funny. People now can actually be blamed for that. The time Liam is relaying to me is a time I was in, when the coolest damn thing you could on your phone was play SNAKE!
So you call back that phone card number… it’s like “WHOA WTF do you think you’reeeeeeeeee doing this is a calling card.” So, you go on thinking about this and talking to your friends about it who at this point are so feed up with your non-stop blabbering over this girl, by which you are destroying opportunities to meet new girls because all you are talking about is your ex-gf. Oh and don’t worry, these girls are actually into you until you bring up the NAME of your ex!
5. Calling you for advice on their current boyfriend. Yes, I know… REALLY?! But, it happens.
6. Keeping tags on you without you having a clue. It turns into 1984, BIG BROTHER. And if you’re a girl and don’t know what 1984 is and don’t play tennis, than the author of this article doesn’t probably want to date you.
7. If you doooooo decide you want to try to contact them on your own… GOOD LUCK! They won’t respond to texts, they won’t respond to calls, they won’t respond to Facebook messages and if you’re lucky enough to get the latter, a return Facebook message, they will leave out any question you REALLY wanted to know.
I have a feeling this conversation could go on and on.
However, Liam and I are going to go sit and be wallflowers where hot chicks hang out and no one will approach us.
– James Dust