In an apparent demonstration of “everything bad that can happen, will happen,” the universe has placed a needy, self-involved neighbor right across the hall from recently single woman, Holly Swiss.
“This always happens to me. I break up with someone, I move, I want to get my shit together, and I end up right next to an incessantly talking woman who never wears a bra and has like 30 small animals in her apartment. And they ALWAYS want to hang out with me nonstop,” said Swiss.
Swiss’ new neighbor goes by the name Snooze and has knocked on Swiss’ door to hang out approximately 24 times in the four weeks that she has lived at her new residence. “I feel bad because I think she’s lonely, but for the love of god. The other day she texted me to hang out and when I said no, she just called me up instead and started talking about all these people I’ve never met.”
Swiss stated that another time when she ran into her neighbor in the hallway, Snooze stated that if the building is ever burning down that Swiss should bring a sports bra with her when she’s fleeing the building for Snooze to wear. “I don’t wanna be one of them crazy, braless people you see on the news! LOL!”
“I mean, she actually said ‘LOL’ in real conversation,” said Swiss. “I can’t live like this. Last night she asked if I wanted to come over and eat chicken wings with her and when I said no, she actually got mad at me.”
