Monthly Archives: October 2012

A Man In A Confusing Part of His Life Continues to Find Confusing Things To Confuse Him

Yo! Yup, I said it just like that. The antenna is working overtime, but only on the bizarre stuff. I guess it is because I have it sat at weird not making sense side, instead of seriously middle east scary … Continue reading

Posted in Breaking News | Leave a comment

Man’s Suicide Note and Suicide Goes Awry

Not entirely sure where I found this in the many folders we had before the Shockuation News and antenna were created. I haphazardly pulled one out labelled 12-30-11. I wasn’t even sure how in got into the folder because all … Continue reading

Posted in Breaking News | Leave a comment

Hey Mahhhnnnn—-….. I need a ride….

I’m not the only one to hear this in their life. I know it for a fact. I’ve been the person. There are many ways you can get suckered in. It’s always sooooo innocent. So, innocent. You get a call … Continue reading

Posted in Breaking News | Leave a comment

Things Ex-Gfs are really good at.

I talked to a man by the name of Liam Frank. He lives in Buffalo NY. He is 35 years old and has had enough ex-gfs that I will not and do not suggest you question what he says about … Continue reading

Posted in Breaking News | Leave a comment

Woman Starts Relationship With Guy Already Waiting In The Wings

Anywhere- A cute girl and a reasonably amazingly good looking guy start talking. They enjoy talking. They decide to hang out. Then do things as in: going out to eat, going to the movies, taking walks together, and stay up … Continue reading

Posted in Breaking News | 1 Comment

A Rare Movie Review: Snow White And The Huntsman

First off… Charlize Theron is one of the most beautiful people in the whole wide world. Now… Let’s get down to business. This movie is like if you took Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs, threw that away, added Lord … Continue reading

Posted in Breaking News | Leave a comment

Single Woman Always Lives Next To Crazy, Braless, Clingy People

In an apparent demonstration of “everything bad that can happen, will happen,” the universe has placed a needy, self-involved neighbor right across the hall from recently single woman, Holly Swiss. “This always happens to me. I break up with someone, … Continue reading

Posted in Breaking News | Leave a comment

Poop Buses Descend on Pittsburgh

(This is a continuation of Taffy Hawkley’s series on Port Authority) PITTSBURGH, PA – In a further attempt to get people to just stop riding the bus, Port Authority is hiring people to poop on buses to maximize discomfort. “On … Continue reading

Posted in Breaking News | Leave a comment

Man Tries One Last Stab At Dating Before He Calls All His Former Flings, Probably Drunk.

Somewhere, Florida- NEWS! I KNOW IT! SOMEWHERE! As always there was a smell in the air. A wind of change, a singular cloud that floated effortlessly through the sky, if you looked closely, it screamed, “News.” To the untrained eyes, … Continue reading

Posted in Breaking News | Leave a comment