Somewhere in the WORLD-
The Shockuation Room’s antenna was finding news like crazy after a mild slump in spring and the beginning of the summer.
Every time the antenna finds news it plays the beginning music for a new level of Mario. Don’t ask me why, we didn’t even program it. It’s comical yet we realize we need to rush to action. We assign people different jobs.
I.E. “Pat, you stay here and drink copious amounts of coffee, then clean the bathroom, Ashley, do not look up pornography again, I am aware you haven’t had a girl interested in you in a while, but come on man, do that on your own time. Coyote? Coyote?”
“What?”
“Would you like to come?”
“No, I need to beat Minesweeper set on its hardest setting.”
I understand, without Coyote we would have nothing so when he wants to stay in he can.
Anyway! News!
I just remembered I promised all of you a detailed analysis of serial killers and mass murders, but that is far too serious for the time being, it will happen. You just will have to wait my friends.
And so on.
Let’s try this again.
Wait, how do we have the money to actually afford employees to sit in our office and do things? I don’t understand. We are basically broke, we have to send counterfeit papers, monies to anyone traveling across to Europe or Africa or even up the street for some soup and sandwiches.
I thought about this more before I jumped into complete action. I suddenly thought about how Coyote had a brand new beautiful finished bathroom in the basement, I remembered full sized beds being moved in by sweaty over weight movers. How could this be related?
My mind swirled. My body got bumps of geese. I heard that swirling noise, the sound that comes in waves, almost like turning on a industrial fan and the motor starts slowly. I passed out.
When I awoke, I was on my back. I had been given a pillow and blanket. Again I don’t know where they came from. I saw faces that again, I’ve never seen before. They all had name tags with our logo on it. I thought, is this real life or have I made my life into a dream. If it’s a dream does that make life a dream? Or is life a pause in between dreaming and reality? These are things that I think about on lonely nights when I feel the only person I can talk to is myself.
Sorry this story isn’t about me.
Anyway, I got up quickly, straightened my clothing, walked into Coyote’s room and asked, “Where the hell are all these people coming from?”
“I thought you would be able to figure all this out on your own. But, I am afraid you are not. All of these people are single individuals that are broke and have had their house foreclosed on. I have offered them a place to sleep, eat, shower and socially converse with people close to their brain levels. I did this in exchange for the work they do. Some clean, some make counterfeit bills, some pose for magazines just to make us extra money. Sometimes I send them to your house and have them whisper news into your ears all night.”
“You send them to my house?!”
“No, that was a joke, you think about news too much anyway, when is the last time you have played minesweeper?”
“Eerily, I couldn’t remember, had I lost touch of what was fun and what was work? Was I coming home so wound up about news I forgot how to have fun?
It’s been a while Coyote.”
“Take the day off from news, play hearts and minesweeper, maybe solitaire, checkers, chess, hell play go fish.”
So I did, sorry news.
-James Dust