Tortoise, MI-
I stumbled onto this news because I was there. I was getting gas:……. for my car, not farting, silly.
I saw a sheriff whiz by me going at an incredible speed for seemingly no reason. She blocked of all of M-53. I was thinking to myself that there must have been a car accident that needed to be blocked off. That made me slightly sad.
Then I heard the real reason. Hundreds, seriously hundreds of motorcycles were coming down all three lanes in the mighty town of Tortoise.
I don’t mind motorcycles, I really don’t mind people that ride motorcycles because most of them are actually good people instead of the stereotype is associated and follows them wherever they ride.
However, I do mind something.
How about not REVVING YOUR DAMN ENGINE WHEN THERE IS A MILLION BIKES COMING DOWN THE ROAD! We see you!! There are a hundred billion of your driving. They shut down the whole main street because of you vroom vroom bikes. I actually stopped and watched after gassing up. I didn’t see a single smile all I heard was VROOM, VROOM, VROOOOOOOOOOOOM.
I leaned against my car for what seemed an infinite amount of time.I thought to myself, there is no way that these machines could be coming down the road continuously. It seemed like the vroom vroom, ROOM! VAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! would cease, be no more, not exist, however the longer I watched the more I just heard bzzzz, rumble, rumble and VROOM VROOM! This lasted for a I don’t know, but it could have been forever. Then my face turned to this, but I had a trick up my sleeve.
Luckily for me, I didn’t need to get on main street for where I needed to go next. I had to do an Austin Powers 40 point turn to get my car from being locked at the gas station by automobiles parked as close as possible to me. But I made it. I went down Chard St. to Wilson St. to Tortoise rd. And I had escaped the rumbles, bzzzes and vroom vrooms.
Stay Tuned-
James Dust