After resting comfortably in my hotel: being catered to breakfast in bed and my crew of Ethiopian guards continuing to put white powder in most of my food, claiming it was powdered sugar or whatever else they could think of, I decided it was finally to take the big step for what I’ve been dreaming about for the past eleven months. Somalia- the beautiful. I hadn’t been more hyper for the past couple weeks in my whole life.
Before leaving Addis Ababa, I made sure to get a visa that would hopefully allow my entrance into Somalia rather smoothly.
I wanted to get right to the crossing of the border into Somalia, but before I did I was stopped by the U.S. State Department that was in Somalia, they had a lot of information and were very concerned about my entering into Somalia. I didn’t understand the problems, but they laid them out in a five hour meeting. My guards brought me random things with white powder involved every 90 minutes or so.
The State Department had a lot of information that they made copies for me. This cut down extensively on the journalism I needed to do. The officials said as long as I credited their work I could use as much as I needed. I was rather excited to cross the border until they started in with the information they felt was necessary for my travel into Somalia and finally Mogadishu, the capital of Somalia.
The officials, which sat in large comfortable chairs, had me in the middle of the room so I could only see about three of the eleven officials that were about to unload too much information that I was unaware of.. But, I had a job to do! I couldn’t tell if this woman was an official or was just hanging out in the room sitting in the biggest chair of them all.
“Oliver, the wisest looking of the bunch began,
“I’m going to be frank the United States does not recommend entering Somalia.” He was called Amir Budakon Shaka-Adheif.
“Uh, ok.” I said. “Why are you advising against me crossing into Somalia, reporting the mood, atmosphere and looking at the beautiful country?
“Mr. Pepper, the United States has no U.S. Embassy or other U.S. diplomatic presence in Somalia. Consequently, the U.S. government is not in a position to assist or effectively provide services to U.S. citizens in Somalia. In light of the serious security threats, the U.S. government recommends that you avoid all travel to Somalia. Are you able to understand why and what we are warning you about?”
“I understand completely, sir. I have to agree to disagree with you, if that is how you use that statement?”
“It’s close enough, Oliver. You understand that we can not stop you from going into Somalia or any part of that area: Somalialand, Puntland and the rest of Somalia. I am also surprised and happy to see you have managed to surround yourself with Ethiopian troops.”
“Mr.Budakon Shaka-Adheif, I actually have no clue where they came from and why they are following and willing to protect me as we pass into Somalia. They think I’m funny, maybe, my glasses and mustache amuse them, plus I think they love seeing me get tweaked on all the cultural delicacies of Ethiopia, do most of the food here contain a white powder or added to most drinks?”
“This group of men have just been following you around out of no where? They have been showing you the sights around Ethiopia and you haven’t asked them or haven’t paid them a dime? And no, that powder I believe sounds like cocaine. But we all love a little coke. Where is the group now?”
“They are standing outside talking and smoking non filtered Pall Malls. Look outside.”
“I just have to keep spouting information that I feel you need to know, Mr. Pepper. Now, please listen: the security situation inside Somalia remains unstable and potentially dangerous. Terrorist operatives and armed groups in Somalia have demonstrated their intent to attack air operations at Mogadishu International Airport. Kidnapping, murder, illegal roadblocks, banditry, and other violent incidents and threats to U.S. citizens and other foreigners can occur in any region. Inter-clan and inter-factional fighting flares up with little or no warning. Unpredictable armed conflicts among rival militias are prevalent in southern Somalia, particularly in and around Mogadishu. This has resulted in the deaths of countless Somali nationals and the displacement of more than one million people.”
I started cautiously, “That doesn’t sound as pleasant as Coyote Rush described Somalia to me.”
“Yes, Mr. Pepper, it isn’t much of a beautiful place at all.”
“It’s ok, the show must go on. I must continue my journey into Somalia.”
The meeting went on for hours, so when I excited my group gave me a Pepsi with white powder.
Tomorrow we will enter Somalia.
