Miller has came out with a new can that makes slamming a beer easier than ever!
To all the people that have issues with drinking more than one beer per hour (binge drinking) Miller has created a beer top that is sure to make:
1. Alcoholics
2. Rednecks
3. College students
4. NASCAR fans
5. Teenagers
6. And just all around pass out in the street drunks
ALL SUPER PUMPED!!
Long passed are the days in which you had to open a beer can and drink a beer as fast as you can with the possibility of having foamy, fizzy beer slipping out of your mouth as you chug with many inebriated bystanders cheering you on drunkenly.
If you aren’t into shotgunning beer, fear not. Another reason for the punch top beer can is it allows for an easier pouring experience. So, if you like your beer poured elegantly into a glass it offers a smoother pour. So, if you’re like a normal person that finds pouring a beer into a glass as difficult as if you were a third grader following a lecture on Quantum Physics, Miller is busy solving problems.
So, Miller hasn’t adopted a slogan that says: Miller Punch Top: Not Binging is For Your Parents! I think they are possibly on the verge of accepting that slogan in which I have submitted to Miller.com on multiple occasions after learning about the punch top.
So, if you’re drinking, please let me know how it works.
Wait, you’ve accidentally drank 5 beers in a half hour because how smooth those beers pour. Nevermind, I don’t expect a response.
-James Dust