It’s been awhile since I have contributed anything, I’ve been busy, almost as busy as the late Kim Jong Il.
NOW, some of you might be saying, “What are you talking about? And how can you ever know how busy he was?” To that I say, “Thanks for wondering.”
For all the people that have seen a Papa John’s commercial and actually remember it, because they are some of the most forgettable commercials that run consistently on television right now. And now you might be wondering, “Dr. Sanskrit Grumpay, in all of your busy Doctoring time, (cutting open brains and such) where do you find time to watch tv?” And to that I say “I watch tv while checking out brains.”
Anyway, Papa John, not only at the end of his commercials, but in real life conversation has a terrible Tourette like tic. Scientists, scholars, sources and people with SERIOUS street cred.
Better ingredients (head twitch, neck bend), Better Pizza (head twitch, neck bend), Papa John’s (massive smile, nearly lose balance head twitch neck bend). Also, during the commercials he may say some random indecipherable phrase or blurt of excitement.
I’m not bashing anyone with a version of Tourettes or anyone that has uncontrollable neck bend, head lower into someone else’s face ordeal, but I can’t even order a pizza from there anymore for fear it really might be Papa coming in and then slowly, casually ducking in to my face for a “better ingredients, better pizza, Papa John’s” (I’m so close and bendy I’m about to kiss ya.)
Unfortunately I do not know a cure for his ailment. Plus, he has enough money that it doesn’t matter how many times he neck bends into your face for an almost kiss as he says his slogan. It works for him.
However, now I must talk about Tourettes and just because Cartmen of South Park fakes having Tourettes and then ends up giving himself the disorder, doesn’t mean it isn’t real.
From http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov it states that not a lot is known about what causes Tourettes, but, about 10% of Americans have a mild tic disorder. Far fewer people have more severe forms of Tourette syndrome. Many people with very mild tics may not be aware of them and never seek medical help. Tourette syndrome is four times as likely to occur in boys as in girls.
So, the reason I wrote this really was because it is a real thing and I can’t watch a Papa John’s commercial without wondering if he is tic-ing or if there is a pretty girl by the camera he’s trying to swoon in on.
So until next time, for all health concerns on a variety of important topics, stay right here, in the Shockuation Room.
Dr. Sanskrit Grumpay is one of the foremost intellectual leaders on everything.
-James Dust