By: Jazin and Justin
One time The Giant Huge Large Big Humungous Mother Superior Stink Think Shrink Head had something to say about something. So that is what he did! He strolled uneasily because of the amount of drink that was still left in his system from the night before onto the roof of his apartment complex. This was where he was known to hang out on occasion. Although, this night seemed to be different than all the rest. The air was cooler, the moon was bigger, and he had somebody else’s shoes on. The Giant Huge Large Big Humungous Mother Superior Stink Think Shrink Head couldn’t remember where those shoes came from, but he knew they weren’t his. It didn’t matter much to him because he was pretty proud of those shoes. He cupped his hands around his mouth and began, “Hey! Everyone! Have you seen my shoes?!” This was not what he had planned to say, he had an entire speech written out on a completely different topic. The words that escaped his mouth shocked and a little, but he liked it. The Giant Huge Large Big Humungous Mother Superior Stink Think Shrink Head couldn’t remember where those shoes came from, but he knew they weren’t his. It didn’t matter much to him because he was pretty proud of those shoes. He cupped his hands around his mouth and began, “Hey! Everyone! Have you seen my shoes?!” This was not what he had planned to say, he had an entire speech written out on a completely different topic. The words that escaped his mouth shocked him a little, but he liked it.
He then looked around and realized he was all alone. “Or was he?” he couldn’t help but think. He also couldn’t shake the thought that these beautiful, high class, blue and green, bowling shoes he was wearing were about 14 sizes too big! “Man these look so sweet” he thought as he stared down at them. “Why do they seem to be alive?” was all he could wonder.
“That’s because they are,” said a man with a strange hat on his head who crept out of the shadows.
“Who are you,” asked The Giant Huge Large Big Humungous Mother Superior Stink Think Shrink Head.
“I am the Great Ignalla, Wizard of the Rooftops,” he replied.
“Would you please get off the ground and quit staring at my shoes please?” The Wizard asked politely, but slightly annoyed.
“What??? Wow! I could have sworn I was looking at my own feet! Weird!!!!” The Giant Huge Large Big Humungous Mother Superior Stink Think Shrink Head yelled at the top of his lungs.
“And quit yelling about everything as well!” replied the Wizard with a sternness in his voice.
“Sorry, I just get excited sometimes, I have to yell to get my feelings across,” said The Giant Huge Large Big Humungous Mother Superior Stink Think Shrink Head.
“I understand completely, but the shoes you’ve been staring at the past three hours can force anyone into a spell, it works much more efficiently than yelling,” said Ignalla.
“Wow, where did you get them?”
“I got them at a bowling alley, where else would you get bowling shoes? And don’t even say “You could order them online,” Ignalla said mockingly in the voice of The Giant Huge Large Big Humungous Mother Superior Stink Think Shrink Head.
“But you can get them on-” “What did I just say?” Interrupted the Wizard.
“Please grant me 3 wishes” Asked The Giant Huge Large Big Humungous Mother Superior Stink Think Shrink Head or T.G.H.L.B.H.M.S.S.T.S.H. as some people like to call him for short.
“You’re one of those people, aren’t you,” asked Ignalla.
T.G.H.L.B.H.M.S.S.T.S.H. was taken aback by this question, “What do you mean?” he said.
“Nevermind, what do you want kid?”
“You mean it? I can have my wishes?”
“Not if you keep talking that way,” Ignalla added obviously growing more and more annoyed.
“OMG! WTF? Seriously? Like, what?” T.G.H.L.B.H.M.S.S.T.S.H asked like a little girl.
“Wow that’s much better!” The Wizard said sarcastically.
“Okay, I’m saving my wishes. In the meantime, let’s go play badminton downstairs in the courtyard!” T.G.H.L.B.H.M.S.S.T.S.H said excitedly.
“Yes! That’s what I’m talking about!” The Wizard said with a happy tone in his voice finally. So the two of them headed down to the courtyard, taking the winding stairway all the way from the top of the 982 story building.
“This is gonna take awhile!!!” T.G.H.L.B.H.M.S.S.T.S.H complained, but despite the complaining, they made it after about 2 1/2 hours.
“To The Badminton!” The WIzard whispered, while pointing his right finger high in the air.
“You’ll have to excuse my poor state of equipment,” said T.G.H.L.B.H.M.S.S.T.S.H. “We actually play with a real birdie here.”
“Oh, my, God,” Ignallas muttered under his breath.
“What,” T.G.H.L.B.H.M.S.S.T.S.H. said worryingly as he looked at the Wizard.
“Oh my, how realistic you take the rule book, fun!” The Wizard tried to say excitedly.
“That’s not all,” said T.G.H.L.B.H.M.S.S.T.S.H. pulling out the racquets each with built in speakers on them blaring indecipherable 1970’s rock n’ roll. “Get it? Racket!!”
“Joy.” The Wizard meekly replied.
“You kind of complain a lot!” T.G.H.L.B.H.M.S.S.T.S.H said under his breath.
“What was that?” The wizard asked calmly, while staring down T.G.H.L.B.H.M.S.S.T.S.H with a ferocious stare.
“I said, I wonder if in Maine it’s hot!” lied T.G.H.L.B.H.M.S.S.T.S.H.
“Oh, well not this time of year!” replied the wizard, who felt somewhat bad for getting mad so easily.
“I used to live there”
“Maine sucks. It’s so boring there.” muttered T.G.H.L.B.H.M.S.S.T.S.H under his breath again.
“What was that?” asked the Wizard again, now wondering if he was hearing things.
“I said, the main ducts, their not blowing there!” lied T.G.H.L.B.H.M.S.S.T.S.H again as he pointed up to the outside air conditioning ducts, which are in fact, a huge waste of money and resources.
