WASHINGTON – In a landmark decision on Tuesday, the U.S. military repealed the policy known as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” a ban that President Barack Obama said has caused gay and lesbian soldiers to “lie about their true identities.”
Shortly after midnight on Tuesday, the new legislation took effect, ushering in a new era commemorated as “Ask, Tell” by military insiders. Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Admiral Michael Mullen promised to acknowledge similar matters of equal opportunity, including allowing women to serve openly in the military.
American soldiers stationed throughout the world celebrated today by relentlessly questioning their comrades’ sexual orientation, including Sgt. Tyler Herbst stationed in Kandahar, Afghanistan. “Ever since we met in Basic Training, I’ve been dying to ask Cpl. Jackson if he’s a homosexual. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
Many American servicemen and women share Herbst’s views. Others, such as Air Force Capt. Jennifer Consuelos, have expressed their relief at seeing DADT come to an end. “I’ve been serving this country for nearly ten years, and yet I have had to live a double life. There were so many of us living in fear of the day that we might accidentally ask a soldier about his or her sexual orientation.”
Reports have surfaced from the United States Military Academy in West Point that cadets have been reporting for a unique variety of “Show and Tell” to ring in the new age of military veracity.
