Charlottesville, V.A.- Taylor Brown, 26, has been visiting the hospital because his friend had emergency laparoscopic appendectomy. Even though there is only minor complications Brown says his friend is doing fine, but “you still need to show up and visit so you friend thinks you care and shit.”
Taylor’s friend, Skylar Lenin, 29, despite having one of the most douchey names anyone has ever heard is recovering quite fine. “Yeah it’s super cool to know I have a friend like Taylor, he’s been here everyday, even coming in the night that I got here. He is a great guy.”
“I know a lot of people hate hospitals, but I don’t really mind them too much. When you have friends in the hospital, you have to show up and act like you care, even if you don’t give a shit.” Taylor went on, “there is really only one thing that completely bothers me. When I walk up and down the halls, I am not bothered by the stench of cleanser, or smell of slow death, the continuous squeak of shoes on the floor or totes smelling to high heaven of pure human excrement that say ‘soiled linens.’ The thing that really drives me crazy is when you’re walking down the hall and you come upon a door that is open and some sick patient is staring at you with ‘those eyes.’ You know the eyes I’m talking about. They peer around the door, the top of their head barely visible poking out of the blanket. Their eyes saying, “Help me, get me out of here. Others eyes look at me and say, come in here sunny, let me tell you how I am dying of cancer of the everything and all the things I should have done with my life.” Taylor said cringing. “I just hate those eyes, so I don’t look in there, but good God, if they catch a glimpse of you, you’re straight up screwed.”
Taylor was listening to a 78 year old man’s life story at the time of press release.
But, seriously, isn’t Skylar Lenin such a douchey name?
Robinson Murphy