Ace, the scientifically proclaimed, “smartest dog in the world,” has made a run for the border. No, not the Mexican or Canadian borders, the brainy border collie made a trek seven blocks east to the State Street Taco Bell. The canine (referred to as Pepé by the Taco Bell employees) is able to recognize over thirty menu options and is capable of making around 37,000 different delicious pairing combinations of the TexMex food.
“Yeah, he comes in here all the time,” said cashier Keith Cuttlefish. “Just last week he was in here complaining about us taking the Volcano tacos off the menu. Yeah man, I get it, we still have all the ingredients back here, but the manager told us to stop making them, limited time deal only.” Ace has ordered everything from Grilled Stuft Steak Burritos to the Cheesy Gordita Crunch. The staff all know by now that two barks means a side of pintos and cheese.
At the time of this press release, Ace was taking a nap and was unavailable for comment. His owners, Mark and Sherri, are very proud of their prodigal pedigree, but often worry that he has been using his seven dollar daily allowance for buying drugs while they are at work.
I think maybe that’s the dog I’ve seen buying bulk items at the Costco. Is that him, mostly white with a couple of black spots? Goes through toilet paper like a family of five.