Now, you may be wondering to yourself, “Dr. Sanskrit Grumpay, isn’t that a little bold of a statement?” And to you I would say “no.” Let’s truly think about it here. Do you know anyone that reads The Shockuation Room that is dead? I didn’t think so. Are you dead? No, not yet anyway, because you will be as soon as you stop visiting this website and reading all this groundbreaking news.
Now, you may be saying to yourself, “Dr. Sanskrit Grumpay, where is the proof, big time doctor and all.” To that I say this…
There is a 27 year old boy/man named Justin Marshall who may be one of the most loyal Shockuation Room readers. He was given a month ago a five percent chance of living. Guess what, because he was loyal to the Shockuation Room, he lived and he is doing just fine. 
On the other side of the coin we have Betty Ford. Who died on July 8, 2011. I was very 
sad to hear the news, but it could have been prevented with a visit everyday to the Shockuation Room. Now, you may be saying to yourself how are you sure that Betty Ford never checked into the Shockuation Room?” Well, to be honest, I can’t be sure. However, I know where she was when she died and there are no views from that city. Meaning that when she was probably being read her last rites she could have been reading about Oliver Pepper or something brilliant Coyote Rush was writing about.
So all in all.
Read the Shockuation Room and save your life.
Stay healthy! Till next time I’m Sanskrit Grumpay, MD and you’re in the Shockuation Room.
Dr. Sanskrit Grumpay is one of the foremost intellectual leaders on everything.
-James Dust
Dr. Grumpay,
That picture of you simultaneously cracks me up and gives me the heebie jeebies. Your face is so very…..ashen!
Secondly, I’m gonna go ahead and throw it out there that perhaps a one Ms. Amy Winehouse wouldn’t have perished if she had had a daily dose of Shockuation. Zing! Too soon? Sorry….RIP, Winehouse
Sincerely,
ARB