The Newest Member of The Shockuation Room!

Yesterday I received a request from a young man desiring a position at The Shockuation Room as an intern. Here is how the conversation went.
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Dear Mr. Rush,

My name is Oliver Pepper, I would like to be considered for an internship at The Shockuation Room. I am 19 and currently a junior at St. Bonaventure University double majoring in Journalism and Communications. I became a member of NSPA when I was eleven years old. I have been the Journalism President at St. Bonaventure since I sat foot on campus. You have been an inspiration to me from my earliest memory. After reading your article called, “News! NEWS! News!” I was hooked. I have all of your articles and stories that I’ve been able to find in a binder and I read them often for motivation. Like yourself, I started my own weekly informational pamphlet for my town when I was a small boy.

Another reason that I want to become an important member of The Shockuation Room’s team is because I have never left Allegany, New York. I was born, grew up and am attending college in this town. I would love the opportunity to travel the world and report the news to the people of Earth.

Please give me this chance Mr. Rush! You can contact me at (716) 867-5309 anytime, or my return address is on the envelope, I am waiting in great anticipation for your correspondence.

Yours,

Oliver Pepper

P.S. News.
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Dear Oliver Pepper,

I am so excited to hear from a young individual that is as excited about news as you, Oliver! I believe you would make an outstanding member of our team here at The Shockuation Room. I have just the right assignment for our newest member, which I will be informing you of later in this letter.

Here at The Shockuation Room we take news seriously. It doesn’t matter if it seems as unimportant as what you or I had for breakfast or if the President of The United States of America just declared war on Britain, it’s all NEWS, Oliver! It appears to me that is your philosophy as well, and that is ecstasy to our ears here at The Shockuation Room.

Your first assignment, (after you come in to the office and meet the rest of the staff) is to travel to the beautiful country of Somalia. There is a lot of news coming from that country right now and it seems to me like a man of your age and lack of experience could use the travel!

Get ready for your big break as a member of The Shockuation team, Oliver!

Stay Tuned,

Coyote Rush

P.S. WELCOME TO THE TEAM OLIVER!
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I can’t wait to see what he finds in Somalia.

Stay Tuned,

Coyote Rush