Shocking News!

I can not believe that I have not brought this news to you sooner, but there is that quote that goes exactly like, “better late than never” or something like that. This news should have sent me into orbit, the look, the feel, of cotton, I mean news.

Months ago my laptop (crucial for NEWS!), suddenly had an annoying problem. Its screen was excruciatingly loose and wobbley. Honestly, it doesn’t cause that many problems, it actually has some advantages:

1. Extremely fast screen recline!
2. Scare a friend that doesn’t notice the problem!
C. The Detroit Pistons rule! (What’s the score? It’s zero zero. Who is winning? Cubs)
4. That’s really pushing it.

The disadvantages are:
!. I feel like somehow I am going to break the computer.
@. I feel like everyone else is going to break the computer.
#. It wobbles.
$. Extremely fast screen recline!

Anyway, the real reason I am bringing this news to your attention is, just how did the screen become loose?

I am glad you asked.

Upon further inspection (I am very, very, mechanical, ask anyone.) I found that one side had a minute screw hole that was filled and on the left side there was an opening like the Grand Canyon, except on a truly tiny scale. (So, more like a baby, baby, Grand Canyon.) You would think that with my exceptional mechanical ability that I have mentioned above I would just simply fix it. There is only one problem with what I said above, I lied.

Anyway, you can still believe most of what I say.

Now… Your question was, “How did this happen to your laptop, Coyote?” Thank God you asked.

There is no way that I, could have taken apart this apparatus, it’s just not going to happen. So, get that me being mechanically inclined notion straight out of your head!

The truth is that from the planet Lemme Go 7, a planet four million times smaller than Earth is a species that rule the planet and may in fact rule the Universe, whom am I to know? I hate the who/whom thing, and no matter how many times I hear the rule I am purposely not going to follow it, because why!?

Over here:

The species on Lemme Go 7, the tiny species, resemble small walking and talking phillip screwdrivers. They have a name, their name is also their claim to fame that name is: Build Me Here/Build Me There, but if you want to address the entire species it is Build Me. The Build Me Here are the females and the Build Me There are the males.

I have researched into Lemme Go 7 and the Build Me’s have a huge intergalactic space travel and information program known as the Build or Unbuild Union of Lemme Go 7. The space program describes its ability on their website, “The BUULG7 has made great progress in the last five years, no longer are the times in which we believe sending a Build Me Here to one of our moons as important. That being said, we no longer believe that our system of satellites or other equipment mindlessly sent off in space to die is any good at all. In the past five months we have made four successful flights to the planet Earth.”

At the sight of this news I lost it… I turned into a lamp post, then a glove box, then a ski slope, then a frying pan, then a can of tuna fish before finally becoming myself again. I started to have a thought of who could be responsible.

Anyway, the planet Earth! How absurd is that? Later the website exclaimed even more pertinent information.

“On these voyages we have met a creature known to the planet as Coyote Rush, he loves news!”

“Ok. That’s too much, those Build Me’s have to have something to do with my laptop” I thought.

The BUULG7 went on:

“In these visits we have learned a great deal of information on Earth and specifically on Coyote Rush. Coyote Rush, a male who seems to be on his computer all day besides when he leaves the dwelling or during his nightly hibernating. Instead of building something in the name of education we decided to unbuild and take out a singluar screw, which fit Lady Gaga of North Lemore’s head perfectly, just to see the reaction. Sadly, his reaction was limited. He was slightly taken back by the extremely fast screen recline of the screen of his laptop. Mainly that was it, maybe we should have built something in the name of science.”

SO! THAT WAS IT! The Build Me’s have dissected my laptop! What news.

Until Next Time,

Coyote Rush